Keep Calm and Self-Mastery On!

I was going to an evening farewell gathering for two colleagues who are also good friends. I was excited for their new chapter to start, and psyched to attend their party. As I pulled into the parking lot of the venue, I realized I had left my phone at home. Since I’m one who loves being technology-free, it wasn’t such a big deal to have left my  phone behind. The problem became clear when I considered this: my phone case holds my credit cards, drivers license, and even my cash. I am on my way to a farewell party at a restaurant, where I believe I’m meant to contribute to the expenses so the guests of honor don’t have to, and I’ve left critical ways I would do that at home. Oooops…bigtime! 

The sequence of events after the ooops beautifully exemplifies how self-mastery contributes to your happiness, fulfillment and success. 

First, I kept calm. I didn’t panic. This was a big area of personal growth for me. In the past, I have hated mistakes, especially mine. I would beat myself up about the smallest error. Of course, that meant I was pretty hard on others as well. But in that moment, I went to acceptance and forgiveness, two concepts I teach in my book, university courses, and workshops. Yaay for personal progress!

Second, came the spillover effect of keeping calm in the heat of that moment: I was more resourceful because I was in a better emotional space from which to create solutions. I parked and sat still for a moment to give myself time to think positively and come up with possibilities. I call this a “positivity pause” and they’re crucial to stopping the runaway train of low-vibration thoughts, words and feelings that can accompany a mistake [for more on how a brief positivity pause in the midst of chaos can shift your experience, and help you create new options

Next, I made a choice. I decided the simplest solution would be to ask a friend at the party to lend me some cash and I would send it to them when I got home – thank you Venmo! With my problem solved, plus some good juju feelings inside from my acceptance and forgiveness, I walked into the restaurant feeling confident and peaceful.

This is when I notice the grace. As I make my way to our group, I see there is food on the tables and bottles of wine are being passed around. Before I could find the friend I intended to ask for a temporary loan so I could help pay for the party, one of the guests of honor comes over to welcome me. Among other things, she says, “We’ve ordered an assortment of appetizers, main dishes and wine. Help yourself, and if there’s something else you’d like, just order it from a server. Everything is on us.”  

Yep. The guests of honor were hosting the farewell party. My presence was what they wanted, and my contribution to paying for the party was not needed (and not accepted either). How about that?! I had no money, and no money was needed. If that’s not a beautiful alignment, I don’t know what is! You can bet my situational happiness in that moment sky-rocketed.

I closed my eyes and went to a moment of gratitude. I wanted to tell the Universe that I’d noticed the way it had supported me through the situation, and also remind myself of that support. I know and teach that, through Universal Laws, my ability to recognize the Blessings I’m already receiving (in this case, they were prosperity, generosity, ease, peace, Grace, and love) attracts more Blessings into my life. Doing it in the moment contributes beautiful energy to any situation.

Here’s the next level of self-mastery growth in me, and it came from that situation: not having money or a way to “pay” for things is not as bad a problem as I’ve been conditioned to think it is. Finding or praying for more money and ways to pay for things is only one solution. I have rarely prayed not to need the money and ways to pay for things in the first place! That’s a powerful, new awareness that is still unfolding in my life.

What if more of the time when I’m faced with the appearance of a money challenge (yes, transformational leaders can have them too) I choose to affirm/pray/intend that no money or way to pay would be needed? How much less time would I spend stressing about bank balances or how to “make money?” Without the stress, how much more inspiration and stamina could I breathe into everything I do?

How about you? Can you see yourself in my experiences? Has your self-mastery served you to move through your situations  peacefully, confidently, and gratefully? Where is your next level of growth opportunity, and how much more happiness, fulfillment and success awaits you there? 

I encourage and invite you to keep celebrating your evolution, and keep leveraging introspection and discernment to take yourself to brighter horizons where you are equipped to reach your highest potential. 

Stay well and BE happy!

Valerie

Valerie Sheppard is founder and CEO of The Heartly Center for Mindfulness and Self-Mastery. She gets rave reviews for her book, public speaking and coaching. You can learn more HERE.
Posted in Self-Mastery.

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